I realize it’s been a hot minute since I posted a blog. Part of that is because I’ve been trying to get a book finished (more about that later), another part is I’m trying to not force myself to post just to post. But as a couple of good friends pointed out, I really did need to post something. This post is a bit different than my usual ones, no mental health stuff today. But it’s been burning in my heart for awhile so out it comes!

Lonnie Frisbee was one of the original hippie pastors. Growing up in the 1960’s and 70’s he wandered through the drug scene, usually hitchhiking from place to place. Then like Saul on the road to Damascus, Lonnie had an encounter with Jesus that reset the trajectory of his life. He was filled with an evangelistic zeal that not only drew him to others but them to him. He was the most well-known speaker during the Jesus Movement in California, preaching to hundreds of thousands. Yet it’s only recently with the rise of the Jesus Revolution movie, that many modern Christians are beginning to hear of him. Why?

Why did he disappear from the public eye and his name cause many to uncomfortably change the subject? Because Lonnie Frisbee struggled with homosexuality for many years, even during his preaching and evangelizing.  The Church kept his story quiet for many years, opting speak only of other ministers with less catastrophic sins. Unfortunately, he passed away from AIDs in 1993, and for many years his memory seemed to be passed from the Christian world.

A part of me understands why the Church kept Lonnie’s struggles secret. He is dead and it wouldn’t be Christian to discuss his moral failures. Kind of like a weird form of gossip. But I think the much bigger reason the Church allowed his memory to fade is because it struggles with the idea that such an imperfect, broken man could be mightily used by God and yet still struggle with core identity issues. The fact that a perfect God could, would, and wanted to not only use someone who slipped in and out of addictions, sexual encounters, and the pulpit, but also continued to keep His relationship regardless of when Lonnie started to walk away boggles the Christianese imagination. Because we, the Church, seem to have forgotten that God didn’t love Lonnie for his preaching and evangelistic abilities; He loved him because Lonnie was His very precious creation. Homosexuality wasn’t the sin that stopped God’s love because no sin stops His love.

If you struggle with same sex attraction or gender identity, the very first thing I want you to know is that God isn’t mad at you! He hasn’t doomed you to a graceless, merciless inability to connect with Him. When God caught ahold of me, I was convinced that I was unable to be redeemed and He was violently angry with me. Imagine my shock when I realized He was chasing me in love not a bit mad with what I called myself or who I slept with. He isn’t mad at you, He desperately desires a relationship, a connection with you…. not the person you could be, not what you do at your job, not who you have sex with…. He wants you, just you, the wonderful person He created. He loves you simply because you’re His creation.

Whatever your identity is- lesbian, gay, soccer mom, pastor, gamer, we all have masquerades that we need to shed- If you want a new identity, I suggest taking what you have to Him and let Him decide who you are. I know what He did to my life so I know He can do it for yours.