When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well? John 5:6

The story of the man at the pool of Bethesda has always been a bit of a quandary for me. Like why did Jesus ask this guy if he wanted to be well? The man had been paralyzed for 38 years, of course he wanted to get well! And yet the dude seems to give this yes and no answer back to Jesus, “yeah I do but everyone is pushing me away from my miracle.”

With recent injuries and mental flareups, I’m beginning to understand this guy a bit more. He wasn’t someone who was just lazy and didn’t want to move towards the water when it stirred. For 38 years he moved towards it the best he could; Paralyzed, crawling with his arms, pulling himself along the ground. He did that for almost four decades, that’s desperation. I would have given up within the first couple weeks. It’s not that he didn’t believe in his healing, he had just been trampled on too many times to get his hopes up.

I understand his defeat. We live in a world where healing can come in multiple forms: miraculous, medicinal, therapeutic, and just naturally. Yet I have friends who are confined to their homes because of debilitating and unknown illnesses. Even with medication, I and many others struggle with mental health issues that seem to have no end. I believe in healing, I have been healed by God. I know His intention is always to heal, He is good. I’m not questioning His ability to heal.

But just like the guy at the pool, I sometimes answer God, “Sir there is no way I can get healed, for I have no one to lower me into the water… and when I crawl to the ledge, someone else jumps in ahead of me,” (John 5:7 TPT). In my frustation with my injured body and skittish mind, I miss the depth of Jesus’s question. In Greek the term, to get well, is genesthai, which translates as:

“Are you convinced that you are already made whole?”

Jesus wasn’t asking him if he wanted a miracle but if he believed the miracle had already happened regardless of whether his legs worked or not. Am I willing to believe that I am whole even if my physical body requires medications? Can I fully believe in God’s total healing even when I see friends and family struggling with illness? Can I believe in healing without demanding that God give me insta-miracle and instead know He is with me as I walk it out?

Do I want to be made well, or do I want to be made whole?